By HC Sadiasa
Yes, there is a difference between being tolerated and accepted, and it’s a big one. Being tolerated is only temporary and not really respected. Being accepted is whole heartedly embraced, respected.
Many people like my lady friends claimed to take me as I am, being gay and privately open to them but they only did it as a lip service. One friend said she prays her three month-old son won’t turn out gay when he grow up. What does this tells you? ‘Di ba she has not really accepted me and my kind of a person?
I got hurt even if I pretended to laugh but what can I do to change my friends perception of gays? They all think gays now are all transcending, one who want to shift sexuality from male to female–and vice versa.
Like many so called normal, intelligent humans, they fall trap to the stereotype and close-minded picture of gays as only the “parloric” kind, screaming and vulgar. What parent indeed like to have a child like that? I could not blame them. But I also wonder if they pray too that their child won’t end up as a bully, a thief and a leader who constantly lie and disrespect other people’s opinion.
The Gay Pride parades all over big cities were inspiring to see because it begins the full march of struggle of gays around the world who are only tolerated and treated as a second class citizen, second only to the so-called straights ruling as majority only because the “third sex” has no choice to hide his true self.
I may be gay. I am attracted to men but only that. I do not like to dress or act like a woman. I want to run, play baseball and be a lawyer. I do not aspire to be a make-up artist or addicted to fashionable clothes. Understand me? Is it my crime because I am sexually drawn to men, have sex with them and never to a woman because I see her as a kind creature who can be trusted.
It’s frustrating that many city people in the provinces have not catch up with the “trend” of understanding the emerging gay culture. Frustrating even more that the gays themselves are the first ones who put down other gays by talking behind their backs and many forms of putting down a fellow being.
There is a lesson we, not only gays, have to know –that all of us, this humanity has a long way and many struggles to contend to reach human total acceptance and understanding. Remember women’s liberation movement and even the anti-black and colored people in America and Europe generations before? It took a long, long way for these freedoms and heartfelt acceptance to surface in the hearts and minds of men and women.
I only wish that they understand. Like them, gays or the so-called third kind, comes in many shades and forms. Wanna play softball with me?
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