There will always be people who will test our patience daily and some habitually. How do you deal with these kinds of people? I remember a friend who told me of a habitual workplace bully who one day puffed up her work station and asked her how her vagina is. Interpret the language in Visayan and you will see what I mean. And my friend was left flabbergasted in silence. Well, she just looked at her in soft sweet eloquent silence. We looked at each other too and we both laughed and muttered, “You really cannot buy class and graciousness darling.”
Insecure people or people who undergo a “deep fight within” dealing with their own demons, emotional or psychological dilemma are seen in haters, bashers, or nefarious bullies. Bullies are everywhere and anywhere. They are WWW- Whatever, Wherever, Whoever, just like the worldwide web. So be mindful with how you navigate your life into the worldwide arena. They are “things” you have no control about and you are in no control of. I call them things as I connote them to nothing or nil.
Deal with them in your own self-contained persona. Their game has no sense at all. Their purpose is only to piss you off and to have you blow your top. They will be gratified to see you angry and becoming hateful like them knowing that they have the same characters moving in this planet. Don’t give them the satisfaction of winning their atrocious ways.
We all have our own share of a bout within, deep in our psyche. Believe me, the fight within is crucial and terrible. But when you win it over yourself, it is of all winnings the first and the best win you have in your life. Coming to terms with yourself is having won restraint and sobriety.
So how do you deal with them? It is not all the time that we are in the mood to be patient and to be tolerant of other people. I normally shove them off with a “deadma attitude”, or “the walangpakialam” way. If need be, we use the idiom, “Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.” Meaning we talk it straightforward and be brutally frank in a candid sweet voice unfiltered.
Aside from that, you may use your own psychic shield to ward off the iniquitous. Sometimes I talk it out to people close to me, and let it out by telling those around me how irritated and disgusted I was of something, the details of which, to whom and to what, I kept for myself. It’s none of their business to know anyway. I don’t want to rub on my agitation. And if I am in the office I warn the people I am working with that things are not fine for me that day. That way, I’ll not run the risk of giving other people an emotional havoc. Why make others miserable then. Empathy is humility.
I practice Visualization and Neuro-Linguistic Programming for years now. Oftentimes I gather enough of my senses whole and remain in control of myself. As much as possible I try to avoid saying nasty things I’ll regret after. I hold my hand together like in prayer and recite the following affirmations: “I am a radiant being, filled with life and love. Today is a beautiful day and I am beautiful. I am strong. I control my heart and my mind, my actions and my time, for my real strength lies in my ability to manage myself.”
When a bully or bullies try to irritate you bless them with light and love, and ask forgiveness to the Heavens for your own and their misdeeds, misgivings, or sins as well. Pray that they may be healed with whatever it is inside of them that pains them and makes them insecure. Remember that superiority complex is inferiority complex in disguise. May they be able to resolve the trouble that lies in the recesses of their souls. May they find contentment in living a simple and joyful life. May their spirits be in peace and in harmony with the world. May the Heavens show them the light so they will learn to live light, and lighten and enlighten the world of the people they live with in this planet earth.
Life is full of surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. Each day is a beginning and as each day closes, another day comes in. Be attuned with yourself, understand yourself more and you’ll get to understand others better. Practice restraint and sobriety, propriety and equanimity in your affairs. Never cling to anyone or anything. Everything in the world is a passing scene where one can’t find retakes.
Guard yourself against heartaches. Never wallow in despair. Don’t allow hate get into you. Hate and envy, never allowthem to sink into your sensesand swallow the best of you. Learn to love yourself. Nurture yourself, your self-esteem, your life. That way you become better and able to nurture others. But never close your doors to possibilities. Always think that life is something that happens when you expect something else. Life is too short to be bitching around
Getting irritated or being angry, disgusted or disappointed is normal. Nonetheless, dealing withit is an entirely different thing. As what a wise sage once said, “The measure of a person is dependent upon the size of things he is angry about.”
Take hold of yourself when you’re angry. Count 1 to 10 and take a long deep breath. Think of beautiful thoughts and stay beautiful and glowing. Painting your own rainbow, shine your own sun, and twinkle your own stars. Keep on giving, keep on sharing. Love even when it hurts. Never say you’ll never love again. Loving is such a wonderful feeling. Just keep loving people, even the unlovable. Try to love the unlovable because they are those who need love most. But if you need to get rid of some people in your life who are abominable and toxic, go ahead. Heroes and saints become one only after they pass away. Unless you want to be one, do it. Anyway, give the best that you can be. Think and, be aware, and be mindful of everything and everyone.
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